Instant Realization

There are a lot of things that bother me since last year. There are a lot of changes that happen in my life that made me re-evaluate if I should accept things as they were or not. I thought I wouldn't until today. It's not that I am in the accepting part, it's just that something made me think.

I thought I had given up on my past so I can focus on more important things for the future than companionship. But as soon as I realized that that past is and will always be a part of me, provided I can see silver linings, I know I had to change course. This may sound conditional, but if there are no conditions, it will only mean living the mediocre life I once tried to avoid.

I was selfless in the past, because "their" happiness came first before mine. Although, I have no regrets for everything I did made me happy at some point. Now that I am putting mine first, I get raised eyebrows. I get questioned. I am misunderstood. When my presence was not appreciated, I thought my absence was.

I had crossed the lines. I chose to travel the "roads less traveled". I followed my heart. I did what I wanted to do. I made my dreams come true. Alone. I had to for the sake of my sanity. And I planned on continue doing this for the rest of the year. For those who cannot accept me for what I am now, then I should start planning on living the future alone. If I survived this on my own, I will be better than I used to be.

For now, I am enjoying my own company. I need to do this to rediscover myself so at the end of this, I will be ready to answer the question: Should I accept my past to rebuild the future or should I go on alone?